Free the Posts! Why I'm Pausing Paid Subscriptions
plus a Full Moon in Cancer tarot reading and Overstory review
Hayo!
There’s so much news. My neighbor’s house burned down this week (we’re in Maine, so this is not LA-fire-related), I finally mailed out holiday cards and gifts, and I learned—via my death doula class—that some of my ancestors believed that humans descended from trees. This last tidbit of info arrived in my brain shortly after I finished reading The Overstory by Richard Powers, (if you’ve read it, you get the connection) and I don’t think it’s a coincidence.
I also decided to pause paid subscriptions on this newsletter and pulled a tarot card to guide you through this Full Moon in Cancer.
House Fire
I have afternoons off, so I was at home when a pickup truck carrying some of my neighbor’s grown children and their friends tore down my dirt road and around the corner. Dense forest protects my eyes from whatever trash pit/slum/abandoned vehicle graveyard lay beyond that corner. I’ve tried walking down there twice, and both times, I turned around after some sight or another raised the hairs on my neck.
But the wind was fierce that day, and the screams traveled swiftly through the trees. And above, a dense cloud of black smoke led me to walk outside, pull out my phone, and dial 911 before I had any inkling what was going on.
All I knew was that was the wrong color smoke.
911 had already been called, I was told, and help was on the way. But not before my neighbor came flying down the road in her beat-up Ford Explorer — the same one a tow truck driver tried to repossess a few weeks ago but couldn’t find.
By now you may have gathered that I have no love for this neighbor. There are many stories I could tell you about her, but I think the fact that she’s called the cops on me multiple times for activities as benign as walking my dogs on the road and playing my saxophone outside is sufficient to explain my dislike.
Anyway, the screams that came from her were a level of bone-chilling I’ll never forget. Our house is on a 10-acre farm nestled in an enchanted forest. It’s usually very peaceful. But last week, every emergency vehicle from the four nearest towns was parked in my field. Fortunately, none of the ambulances rushed away.
Even though I thoroughly dislike my neighbor, I’m sorry her house burned down and I’m all the more grateful for everything I have. However, I find it frustrating that the news coverage of the fire is highlighting the fact that she’s a “mother of five” (three kids are over 20, one is dead, and the other keeps going for car rides with caseworkers) and that “an urn containing her deceased son’s ashes” was lost in the fire.
This frustrates me because, when we first moved here we invited these neighbors over for a bonfire and heard all about their son who passed away. He was an adopted son with a known heart issue. He needed multiple heart surgeries in his short life, and the family had a gofundme to collect donations for his medical bills. Later, the father told us they had horrible credit because they never paid those hospital bills. Additionally, we heard a story about how the community pitched in to cover the cost of a burial site at a local cemetery.
So, if the boy is laid to rest in the community-funded cemetery plot, then how is he also in an urn? This is what bothers me most about the whole story. Which is it? I want answers.
I’m not suggesting that my neighbor started the fire deliberately to use the tragedy as a fundraising platform. All I’m saying is this is not her first gofundme, and the stories of how she spends the funds don’t always line up.
What I am saying is that some people might benefit more from donations that can’t be exchanged for drugs, like gift cards and clothes.
Moving on
The Overstory
I finally got around to reading this book, which has been on my list since I read a New York Times article about The Social Life of Forests. It’s a thick novel of interwoven stories centering around those luscious creatures that connect earth to sky.
About fifteen years ago, I was on a San Pedro trip in Peru, sitting before a giant tree in a field of tall grass blowing in the wind when I received a download that changed my life. I realized that plants were trying to communicate with us, and ingesting the psychoactive compounds they produce was one way they could convey their messages.
The Overstory may be fiction, but really, it’s more like a spiritual experience. Not to mention it’s so beautifully written, that you’ll want to take your time reading it.
Savor it.
Now that I’m finished with my copy, I want to pass it on to someone who hasn’t read it. The first person to send me an email about it will get it sent to their mailing address gratis. That means free.
**EDIT** The book has been spoken for.
No More Paid Subs
Y’all, I turned on paid subscriptions as an experiment a few years ago, and have been absolutely humbled by your generosity. Between paid subscribers and people “buying me coffee,” I earn enough from this newsletter to cover the hosting fees for my writer's website.
The problem is Stripe.
They’ve blocked my payments, and I just don’t have time to deal with the headache. This is not the first time I’ve had a problem with Stripe, and I’m sure it wouldn’t be the last if I were to continue using their services.
Unfortunately, Buy Me a Coffee and Substack only use Stripe to process payments.
I might start adding my Venmo to the bottom in case people want to leave me a tip (it’s always appreciated, never expected), but, for now, I’m just giving all my words away for free. Gratis, I mean.
The Lovers
Oh, baby.
You’ve been mooned!
It’s no surprise that this card is often associated with new love, or taking an existing relationship to the next level. In fact, The Lovers popped up nearly every day in the weeks before I moved back to Dunsmuir, CA, where I met the man I married.
If you’re looking for love or a serious partnership, this is a great omen.
However! The Lovers can mean many different things. It often comes up when you’re at a crossroads, or feeling conflicted about a decision you’re facing. This card gives the vibe of an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other, both whispering directions into your ears.
One thing that jumped out at me about this card is the way the man is grasping the woman’s wrist. In all the times I’ve pulled this card, I’ve never noticed that. This time, I find significance in the fact that he seems to be tugging at her attention while she’s more interested in following the sunbeams bursting through the clouds.
So, if you aren’t looking for love, maybe ask yourself how this scene is playing out in your life. Are you taking actions that align with your integrity and will lead to where you want to go? Or are you letting someone else’s desires take the reins?
That’s all I got for now. Full moon blessings, babes.
Thank you for reading, and I love you!
Laur