Here's to Four Years of Being a Cheap Date
Sober-versary and the Eight of Wands
Friends!
This weekend marks four years since I stopped drinking. For me, being (California) sober hasn’t been a huge challenge, and I’m tremendously grateful for that.
Of course, my first few months were a bit rocky. And then, when J and I went out for a New Year’s Eve dinner less than a week after my dear friend passed away, I fought a strong urge to swill a bottle of anything, climb up on the bar — not to be cute, but to make it easier to kick glassware across the room — and ruin everyone’s night in a fit of rage that would’ve surely gotten me arrested. It was the first time I really wanted to drink since I’d stopped, and I realized that it wasn’t because everyone around me was drinking, or even because that’s what you do on NYE. It was because I was filled with uncomfortable emotions, and, until recently, my go-to method of dealing with such discomfort involved losing my shit in a destructive manner.
Alcohol wasn’t an essential element in these eruptions, but it facilitated them. Like a lubed-up slip-n-slide straight to crazy town.
But I didn’t get drunk and freak out that night — or any other night since — and that is what I’m celebrating. I’m also celebrating the way sobriety and therapy have helped me sit with my emotions and learn to lean into them with curiosity and an open mind. Sobriety has unlocked doors in my subconscious that have been sealed shut for years, enabling me to explore the wondrous landscape and jagged edges of this beautiful soul.
This year brought a new level of challenges. First, I started a stressful and demanding job. I learned quickly why many of my coworkers were heavy drinkers.
Then, a couple of weeks ago, J and I sat down to our birthday dinner and I felt something very new and different. Grief, maybe? Mourning my former drinking self.
We finally tried the tasting menu at Aragosta, a restaurant that’s been on J’s list since we moved here. As you likely already know, wine pairing is a key element of the fine dining experience. Maybe you don’t know that I often attribute my ease in giving up alcohol to the fact that we left California. This is because Northeast beer and wine is absolute shit. Make that overpriced absolute shit.
I miss wine. I miss fine wine paired with fine food. I’m never going to have that again, and that’s okay.
I sat across from J that night and talked about it. We openly discussed our experience as a sober couple in this very wine-centric space while the two dudes at the table next to us racked up a multi-four-figure bill that was mostly… wine.
It’s not like we were just sipping fizzy water the whole time. The restaurant featured one mocktail and one non-alcoholic beer on the menu. We both ordered one of each, then switched to coffee for the ride home. It was damn fine coffee.
But still, our bill was half of what it would’ve been if we’d been drinking, and, unless you were our server, that’s a thing to celebrate!
So I blew a sweet kiss to my former wine-drinking self, grabbed my husband’s hand, and sauntered out of the restaurant without a single sway. I got behind the wheel of the Jeep with no debate about who would drive home (it would’ve been Jason, regardless of what I’d promised earlier in the evening). We chatted about how amazing the food was, and we would remember it the next day. We slept well and woke up feeling great.
Maybe I miss wine, but I’m 100% on board with my decision to leave it behind.
And I bought myself a snazzy new under-desk walking treadmill on Prime Day with the money I saved by staying sober. It truly is the gift that keeps on giving.
That’s all I have to say about that. Let’s get on with your tarot reading for the week of August 4!
The Eight of Wands
Unlike last week’s Nine of Wands (aka the “Can I be done?” card), the Eight is all about swift action. You’ll likely find things moving faster than anticipated when this card pops up. It also relates to clear, direct communication.
You know in The Lord of the Rings, how Treebeard is all, “Don’t be hasty.” This card is the opposite of that. Your communications will get a turbo boost, so take time while you can to ensure your message is clear and aligned with your intentions.
Anyway, Mercury stations retrograde this week, so it’s a great time to review and edit!
Speaking of last week’s tarot pull, I’ve been heeding The Hermit’s message. Right now, open in another tab, I have an application for a spiritual mentorship program I’m super excited about. That’s all I’m going to say for now, but I’ll keep you posted on any progress.
How about you? What opportunities for learning and growth are you exploring? I’m curious!
Thanks so much for reading, and have a great week!
XoLauren
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